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View Full Version : Cooking can kill a bachelor! Warning: Blood.



Semicton
04-28-2009, 08:27 PM
LOL. Thought this would be a great off topic post.

- I've always been a bleeder.

So, Let me first say that even while being a bachelor for many years, I am still struggling with the whole concept of the cooking thingy that humans do to food before they consume it.

I purchased a food processor to help me with this small problem, and it turned into a contraption from hell!

I was attempting to make a creamy pea soup. I needed the food processor to mince?[/ onions, carrots and potatoes. Soon after I chose my attachment, I didn't realise that one of the many contraptions, er.... Attachments, er... knives fell to the floor. seconds later I stepped on it.

I bled so much it was insane, The doctor told me I looked like I was in a massacre lol. I left a trail of blood through the hospital that oozed from my bloody shoe. The pores in my tennis shoe allowed the blood to quickly exit, but it was actually starting to coagulate on the outside of my shoe. And by coagulate I don't mean a dry scab, but a gooey expanded gelatin-like mess. After I sat down on the patient bed, they took off my sock, and lifted my foot up, and I actually spayed the wall with blood.

Ok, So... I lived But still, I'm a little bit disappointed because I was looking forward to a Darwin award. :) Oh well. Maybe next time.

Cooking is dangerous lol. I need to find a wife before I kill myself! And if any of you are still wondering why I'm a programmer and work with phidgets, and keep away from tools, and hardware, the answer should now be very clear. lol

In retrospect, If I was economically retarded, I could have made a great gravy or sauce with all that blood instead of going to the doctor lol.


I have a video but I swear twice and becuase of that, I decided not to post it here :P